


Truth Of A Lie

by Andrea250



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Jung Yunho is an angel, M/M, Shim Changmin making decision, i don't know what to tag, scared, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 07:19:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19763275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrea250/pseuds/Andrea250
Summary: He could continue to live a lie or be happy.





	Truth Of A Lie

__

_**Song: C7osure- By: Lil Nas X (Not really into rap or artist like him but I love this song. I can enjoy good music... any music is good, it is matter of personal preference.)** _

_**3rd Person's P.O.V:** _

He could come out or live the rest of his life in a lie.

It always comes down to the hard choices, it was no longer about just getting by for Shim Changmin. He wants to feel free and not carrying the weight and guilt on his shoulders, it is bringing him down. Making him always cautious and like he has something to hide (he does) but he shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed, it is a horrible aftertaste.

He knows the consequences of his decisions and he could choose the road taken or make a new path. One road is safe and promising, while the other road offers uncertainty and possible tragedy. This is a double edge sword,it isn't fun and he wishes he could just ignore the facts but his heart would not let him.

Stupid Yunho!

With his optimism and "be yourself" bullshit!

He loves that about the man but at times it is unwelcome, it is not part of Changmin's plans and what he imagined his future. Yunho came in and created chaos in his world and he doesn't mind. But when nobody knows the real him... It gets scary cuz he doesn't know the outcome or what the future holds.

He is calculated and logical person and all the numbers and facts point towards the safe option and not to risk everything. He should be cautious rather than make rash judgement, it is about being rational.

Yet, living his life in regret is more depressing.

"Well, you got two choices and which ever you choose, I will support you and be by your side." Yunho would always be beside him.

"Choose what makes you happy even if it makes others upset or disgusted. You are not responsible for other people's happiness, it is okay." Yunho could tell that this was killing the younger male inside.

Creating a windstorm of emotions and thoughts of major catastrophe,it made him uneasy.

He wants to be real, it is no longer about the brand or what he suppose to be. He doesn't want to be someone's puppet, it is cheap and tiring, it is time to be real.

It is about what he wants and how he should live.

But why does it feel wrong? Why must he feel like he is letting others down by being open? This is unfair!

"Come out when you are ready Min. Nobody can make that decision for you, it is up to you and how you wish to live. All I can do is smile and cheer you on and hold you when you need me." Yunho kissed Changmin.

"How did I get so lucky?" Changmin all his life hid from his truth, it was easier to lie and pretend to be someone he is not. 

When he started to get older and his feelings didn't change and he got even more anxious and suffered greatly from this. He did everything trying to make people believe he is Shim Changmin "ladies man" and pretended to be what is suppose to be a macho man. He did all of this to hide cuz he was afraid of what others had to say about him. 

Fake it until you make it... right?

He played sports, partied, screwed different women, and anything that seemed macho he did it. In all actuality he hated those things. He should being enjoying it and feeling pride or something other than self-hatred. He did enjoy some of the sports he did but all-in-all he love being home, reading, food videos, an introvert, he is foodie (but who isn't?), and he had truly two best friends that accepted him for him, also love to sing but never said that out loud. 

He grew up thinking he was born wrong, it made him hate himself more than ever. 

"You are amazing Min!" Yunho cheers on his boyfriend. They are staying in the night as Thursday night's are their night to spend doing whatever. They are watching a cheesy rom-com cuz Yunho wanted to see it and Changmin loves the man. 

He has lived all his life doing things that other people expected of him and when he met Yunho... he pursued the man even if he knew that his parent'es and the people around him would disapprove. For once he didn't care! 

He followed his own happiness and he remembers that he should be happy. He started to live by "You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm." after Changmin had confided in his boyfriend about his fears and how he felt obligated to take care of others or change things around to make them comfortable. 

He had enough, it was no longer about them, it never was and he should never have been so guilt ridden or manipulated by others. He wants to live by his own terms! 

"I don't know if I will ever be ready Yunho but I have to do this for myself. If I don't do it now... I will never do it and that will be a disservice to myself and everyone around me, it is time to pack up my past and let my future take control, it is time to be free." Changmin was not sure about anything but his truth and being with Yunho, it is the most real and raw decision he made and he does not regret any moment. 

"I am by your side." Yunho looked at the man next to him with pure adoration and he hopes nothing but the best. Changmin is misunderstood and always perceived as a lone wolf but in actuality he is a kind and intuitive. He is considerate of others and puts others needs before his own and Yunho finds that quality amazing but he wishes for the man to be more selfish and thinks of himself. 

He wants Changmin to live for himself and to live his best life. 

"I love you Yunho." Changmin pulls the other man into a slow and heart stopping kiss. 

_**-The End** _

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I have nothing to say much... I am just getting into a bad head space and I am scared and depressed... I didn't expect to fall so hard today, it just wasn't good and I am tired of lying. I just wish someone would hold me and console me cuz I can't find the energy to get up some days. 
> 
> I am sorry to dump my personal problems but I am going crazy just bottling it up... I feel like I have no one I can trust anymore... so yeah. I am sorry guys and will shut up now! 
> 
> Thank you my lovely readers I hope you are healthy and happy. Keep it weird everyone, love you all.
> 
> -AndreaXx


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